Time for Bed!

By Patricia Berry

It seems like the right time for your toddler to make the switch from the crib to a big-kid bed. But like toilet teaching and starting preschool, the transition has the potential to be stressful -- for you and your child. Involving him in the process will help you both sleep more peacefully. And that means waiting until he's able to do that.

Knowing when to make the changeover may have less to do with a toddler's age than with his ability to understand the cardinal rule: When he goes to bed, he needs to stay there. True, a crib becomes more hazard than haven when a toddler is strong enough to pull himself up and over the rails, and if he’s approaching three and climbing out on a regular basis, he’s probably ready. But if you have a particularly agile two year old, making the move to a big-kid bed before he understands the consequences may be too hasty.

Last Call for the Crib
“Give the crib one last chance,” advises Pearl Chua-Eoan, a pediatrician in Livingston, N.J. The risk with moving younger toddlers is that they will start roaming the house in the middle of the night. Lowering the crib mattress can prolong the stay for a little while, and crib tents -- mesh-covered frames that block a child from climbing out of the crib -- will curb nighttime exploration for the duration. But that can only last so long.

"At three, by virtue of size, most kids are ready for a bigger bed," says Chua-Eoan. And they are also old enough to want to share in the process.

If possible, have your toddler come with you to pick out the bed and bedding. If you have the space, bring the bed into the room along with the crib. Get your child used to the new bed by using it for naps, story time and quiet play. Encourage him to arrange some of his favorite toys there, as well.

If he's ready to sleep in the bed nightly, he'll probably tell you. If he's not, ease the transition by letting him use his crib blanket for a week or two, rather than the tucked in sheets and quilt arrangement. Placing the crib mattress on the floor and letting him sleep there for a few days is another intermediate step. It’s not a crisis if he doesn’t accept the change overnight. Staying calm throughout the process will help allay his fears.

A Gentle Reminder
Sometimes you make the transition, all seems to be going well, and then your child starts creeping out of bed. The key here is consistency, says Chua-Eoan. "Walk him back to bed and gently remind him that it is bedtime and this is where he sleeps. Staying nearby as he dozes off can be a comfort to your child, but gets tricky if he starts to depend on your presence."

Chua-Eoan suggests an incentive chart for three- and four-year-olds: "If they stay in bed all night, they get a sticker. A week’s worth of stickers can be worth a small prize from a trinket box designed for this purpose."

It may be ideal to wait until your toddler can be a partner in the crib-to-bed move, but it's not always practical … or possible. When Alison Heisler was expecting her second child, she and husband, Matt, "hemmed and hawed a lot over switching Amelia, our oldest, out of the crib," says the Westport, Conn. mother of four. "She was only two, and it wasn't as though she was climbing out or anything. But I wasn’t about to buy a new crib."

Patricia Berry is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Working Mother, This Old House, New Jersey Life and The New York Times, and has also served as an editorial consultant for ClubMom.

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